August 6, 2009
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i can get through this
Don't waste your time with people who aren't willing to waste theirs on you. <-- something i need to repeat every morning when i wake up
i read yesterday that it takes 21 days to break a bad habit. i'm not sure if i'm strong enough to do this yet, but if i can, i'll be pretty damn proud of myself.
there's so many bad habits i want to break, i'm not sure where to start... i guess with the one that has made me feel so worthless and upset and bothered in the past several months.it's just hard to shake the thought that its so much easier to dispose of myself than rid of someone else...
hang in there, self. you can't let how one person mistreats you affect you so much that you forget how much you mean to others...
but is life really worth living? what if i don't want to be alive? i never asked for the chance to be in this world.
if there was a way to give the rest of my days to a dying person who really wants to live a longer life, i would immediately do so.jordan and rona may be right... maybe i haven't found the right person yet, and maybe i should clear out the wrong ones.
its time for some major life cleaning. wish i could go in with guns blazing, but i don't even have the desire anymore...
word of the day: hebetude. seriously? does dictionary.com read minds?
Comments (2)
As much as I hate to quote movies, "you are who you love, not who loves you". I guess, to some extent, this is something I'd like to believe in.
Also, just because you didn't ask for something, doesn't mean that... well... doesn't mean anything, I guess. To answer your question "is life worth living?", I like to offer a quasi-enthusiastic "yes". Even for a cynical "realist" like me, I can't honestly say that the cons of living outweigh the pros (nor vice versa). In the end, it's just one day at a time, really. I'm glad you're here.
i say just be yourself and go with the flow. i find that when fate deals you romance its like... heart-attack in the chest while floating on your feet. the weeding out process will always follow after that initial insanity. the heartbreak... well... i would say that is the double edge of attachment and security. youve alwyas been kind of a romantic cat. keep them eyes open.
i try to appreciate even the downfalls and crap in life. they seem to add to the stories and complexities of both me and my world. i find it all rather amazing.
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