October 10, 2010

  • oy...

    whaaat is going on?

    this computer screen is too freaking bright - i'm squinting! hahaha...

    so... i haven't updated in a month or so because life has been pretty awesome.
    let me list the ways...
    1. ABA work mellowed out, but i had time to attend a VBA workshop/training session that sparked my career goals
    2. opera has been going alright. nothing significant, but i am singing more
    3. the guy i fell for during the summer suddenly fell for me after i returned from japan, and we've been spending a lot more time together
    4. macgrill guests have been treating me well

    and here i am blogging.
    it seems i tend to blog only when things are bothering me,
    and i guess they are.

    here goes... *BIG BREATH IN*

    bird and i are going on staycation for the next couple days.
    why is this awesomely amazing?
    (uh oh, i may be overusing lists in this blog!)
    1. this is the first time something like this was not my idea but his (wow)
    2. i could really use a few days of relaxation and caring about nothing
    3. i'm excited to see how the two birds really get along with each other 24/7

    then today came around. a day of testing... life tests.
    i only got to speak to my bird for a few minutes tonight, and during that conversation, i was bombarded with texts from guys who have been trying to spend time with me for the past few months.
    i haven't heard from them in a month or so -- i pretty much stopped communication with any male figure since my bird has given me his attention -- and it just so happens that they all decided to text me tonight at the same time WHILE I'M TALKING TO MY BIRD? :S
    what's going on here??
    sh*t about wanting to meet up and catch up, "i like you" <--most random text i've gotten in a looooong time, etc.

    this may be going out on a limb (muahaha... how fitting for the bird thing...)
    but why did that all happen during the phone time i had with my bird?
    whaaaat is going on? is life testing me?
    while my bird and i aren't exclusively together, i haven't even thought about anyone else for the past few months.
    you might say i had bird brain :P

    just a straaaange string of occurrences.

    earlier today before my macgrill shift, i posted a facebook profile that said,
    "cannot wait for tonight's shift to end!! :D "
    'cause, well, i couldn't wait for the shift the end - no work 'til next friday or saturday!
    plus i was looking forward to staycay...

    and i sh*t you not, my shift started out with:
    two ladies who sat in my booth for 2.5 hours and only ate caesar salads and shared a cheesecake
    two people sharing a spaghetti and meatballs
    a couple who sat in my booth for 3 hours
    two japanese girls who shared a capellini pomodoro
    WHAT!?
    that's when i started thinking that maybe someone, something is testing me for whatever reason...

    it made me start thinking,
    and you know how once the brain starts to fire, it never stops--
    -- how badly do i want the things i want?
    do i want them badly enough to ignore the stupid shit that gets in the way?

    and that's where i'm at right now.
    sigh.

    one thing i did think of was...
    it's hard to commit to something/someone who can't commit back.
    and when you do commit despite that,
    that must mean its something pretty darn special.

    so maybe i do have something special with my bird...
    ...or maybe i don't,
    but in my eyes, it is pretty special.
    :^) chirp.

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