July 5, 2010

  • exactly...

    ...one year ago i left on a journey that changed my life completely.

    i learned how to put aside some life changing incidents and put a smile on my face.
    i learned how to put aside matters of life for death.
    i was able to charge forward and ignore the life altering abuse that happened
    and i didn't let it bring me down for an entire week.
    for the first time in my life,
    i was able to put aside my emotions and plaster a smile on my face that served solely as a front.

    since then, i've definitely become a stronger, hardier, more guarded, independent woman.

    and though it blew chunks at the time,
    i can only be thankful for those experiences for teaching me to stand on my two feet and take off running at full speed.

    ---
    one of my good friends jordan was right --
    -- i am smitten!
    to be honest,
    i would love to spend the rest of my life seeing this person everyday
    waking up to seeing him asleep,
    listening to his detailed stories,
    seeing his youthful eyes burn into mine,
    playfully joking around with his humor,
    wrapping my arms around him for daily hugs,
    spending time lying next to each other playing angry birds (haha... kidding... or am i? *dr evil mouth pinky*)
    ....
    and to feel this way so soon after only a few months of hanging out,
    i definitely can't express this all to him - in fear that i'll scare him away.
    this torment inside eats me...
    but as my philosophy on life is...

    fermata all the way.
    enjoy every second, milk every moment for what its worth.
    don't let things pass you by because you never know when your last breath will take place.

    i am falling for someone who is cautious about falling for someone...
    what do i do?