i've been floating on cloud nine for a month and a half... lucky me...

...but i'm also starting to fall back into scary old habits :S

i definitely haven't been taking much care of my body in the past month and a half -
i haven't gone to the gym as regularly as i usually do,
i've been eating out much more than usual,
and my sleeping habits are all over the place.

in the past few days, that uncomfortably familiar feeling of health craziness is starting to kick in again...

some people smoke, others do drugs... i choose to get high on exercise and diet.
help...? :S

just wanted to jot down what an awesome wednesday i had...

step class that kicked my ass - wow, am I out of shape or what?!
grocery shopping
chores around the house and a nap
a few hours of ABA work
back home for another short nap and some bird texting
lucia opera chorus rehearsal for two hours
met up with ryan, danielle, nick, and mark at kincaids, good times
the cherry on top was an unexpected text from my bird and a short chat :^)

why can't every day be like that?

whaaat is going on?

this computer screen is too freaking bright - i'm squinting! hahaha...

so... i haven't updated in a month or so because life has been pretty awesome.
let me list the ways...
1. ABA work mellowed out, but i had time to attend a VBA workshop/training session that sparked my career goals
2. opera has been going alright. nothing significant, but i am singing more
3. the guy i fell for during the summer suddenly fell for me after i returned from japan, and we've been spending a lot more time together
4. macgrill guests have been treating me well

and here i am blogging.
it seems i tend to blog only when things are bothering me,
and i guess they are.

here goes... *BIG BREATH IN*

bird and i are going on staycation for the next couple days.
why is this awesomely amazing?
(uh oh, i may be overusing lists in this blog!)
1. this is the first time something like this was not my idea but his (wow)
2. i could really use a few days of relaxation and caring about nothing
3. i'm excited to see how the two birds really get along with each other 24/7

then today came around. a day of testing... life tests.
i only got to speak to my bird for a few minutes tonight, and during that conversation, i was bombarded with texts from guys who have been trying to spend time with me for the past few months.
i haven't heard from them in a month or so -- i pretty much stopped communication with any male figure since my bird has given me his attention -- and it just so happens that they all decided to text me tonight at the same time WHILE I'M TALKING TO MY BIRD? :S
what's going on here??
sh*t about wanting to meet up and catch up, "i like you" <--most random text i've gotten in a looooong time, etc.

this may be going out on a limb (muahaha... how fitting for the bird thing...)
but why did that all happen during the phone time i had with my bird?
whaaaat is going on? is life testing me?
while my bird and i aren't exclusively together, i haven't even thought about anyone else for the past few months.
you might say i had bird brain

just a straaaange string of occurrences.

earlier today before my macgrill shift, i posted a facebook profile that said,
"cannot wait for tonight's shift to end!! "
'cause, well, i couldn't wait for the shift the end - no work 'til next friday or saturday!
plus i was looking forward to staycay...

and i sh*t you not, my shift started out with:
two ladies who sat in my booth for 2.5 hours and only ate caesar salads and shared a cheesecake
two people sharing a spaghetti and meatballs
a couple who sat in my booth for 3 hours
two japanese girls who shared a capellini pomodoro
WHAT!?
that's when i started thinking that maybe someone, something is testing me for whatever reason...

it made me start thinking,
and you know how once the brain starts to fire, it never stops--
-- how badly do i want the things i want?
do i want them badly enough to ignore the stupid shit that gets in the way?

and that's where i'm at right now.
sigh.

one thing i did think of was...
it's hard to commit to something/someone who can't commit back.
and when you do commit despite that,
that must mean its something pretty darn special.

so maybe i do have something special with my bird...
...or maybe i don't,
but in my eyes, it is pretty special.
:^) chirp.