May 25, 2008

• distressed

  just when i thought everything was going alright, i'm starting to realize it's all falling apart.

  i feel guilty for loads of crap right now. guilty in the sense that if i didn't exist in the past several weeks, none of this crap would have happened; i wouldn't have screwed things up. in addition to the last few weeks, something bad happened tonight, and i missed the chance to help and simultaneously shed some of that guilt.

  i don't know how most people brush off stuff like this, but those kinds of people amaze me. is it really that easy to not worry? i guess this goes back to the 'world on my shoulders' thing that i've been trying to avoid lately. yet somehow the weight still pushes me down.

  my life is starting to become really heavy again, and tonight i felt something i haven't felt in a long time. that old familiar "things would be better if you weren't here" feeling crept up behind me and put its cold hand on my shoulder. as tempted as i was to turn around and fall back into it, my faith kept me facing forward. the ring i wear reads, "when you have faith, everything is possible." i must try harder to keep this in my head and close my heart to the drama trailing after me.

  • 10:56 am
  • 3 Comments