after taking a year off from life, it seems like the right time to jump back into reality. it was nice spending the last year traveling, studying, working at a fun part time (almost full time... geez) job, singing, trying new things, and meeting new people.

as i've just returned from the gym, i'm not in the proper mindset to post a great blog. i just thought i'd jot down some things i want to do in the years to come.

health
- get bunion looked at and eventually surgically fixed
- orthokeratology
- build more lean muscle mass/gain strength
- maintain relatively good health (no more obgyn problems please!!)

career
- stick with autism therapy for more than a year
- bear with ridiculousness at macgrill (sigh, health insurance is a bummer)
- do something with opera singing
- start some arts and crafts side job
- own a cupcake shop (lora!)

hobbies
- begin singing lessons (kinda nervous, never had voice lessons before)
- stick with the opera studio
- get back into step class / possibly teach step one day
- frequent yoga and pilates more
- learn more about car maintenance from dad
- read more
- travel to all the places i want to visit in the next 10 years. we never know when our last day is so i might as well try to get it all done before my last day surprises me out of the blue~
   - tahiti, maldives, thailand, greece, turkey. revisit new zealand, italy, switzerland. ooh can't think enough to finish right now, must pee. ciao~

yarrr... whoever thought the pill was a good idea needs a good slap in the face. my hormone imbalance has been driving me insane!!

reminds me of that pirate joke...
"excuse me, pirate, do you know there's a ship's wheel stuck in your pants"
"aye, sir, it's drivin' me nuts!"
which also reminds me, have you heard of that new pirate movie? it's rated arrrrrrrr!

doot doot doo... well, at least i'm feeling better with every passing day. unfortunately the hours that pass seem to crawl by during this period of hormone overload. :S

all that aside... my 4th annual 21st birthday is coming up tomorrow! yahoo. need to clean up the house before then... and that cleaning will commence in 5...4...3...2...
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@ Ryan's since Dave & Buster's had no power  ---  happy one month
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girls night out!  ---  with our delicious cheap martinis
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aaaaw straight sexy  ---  and true love
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50th state fair maddness  ---  including kaba modern!
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free ferris wheel ride... worth the ridiculous wait. thanks love <3

i'm still in disbelief that only a month has passed since jonathan and i questioned our official status . there was a bit of, "i'm not sure if we're together, ask him/her" going on; very reminiscent of adolescent relationships. we've been having such a blast that i haven't realized so much time has passed. do i dare declare that this has been the greatest month of my life? indeed i do. )

in the past month i've smiled and laughed constantly, enjoyed doing everything (including nothing), tried new things, ticked things off my "to do in life" list, and experienced love without disagreements and fights. who would have thought, especially at our young age, that relationships can be so fulfilling sans the bullsh*t drama that happens in most? "not i," said the kitty.

last night there was a small blip on the relationship radar lodged in my brain, but the blip disappeared quite quickly. a fluke? or maybe i'm just able to confront my fears better than before... you know, the old me, running away when i get scared... ah well. its easy to forget about any insecurities with him because i don't really have any insecurities in this relationship. i'm not sure whether its because i've grown as a person or that he gives me no reason to be insecure... probably both. even a 2am phone call from an ex who willingly pays his mobile phone bill doesn't affect me nearly the same way phone calls and texts on adey's phone once did.

for those of you who know what i'm talking about, i'm proud to announce that i haven't touched my left ring fingernail in over a month. it is growing back into a healthy, healed fingernail. i believe this past stress free month had something to do with it.

and some photos to end the night...
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Aloha from Islands in Hawaii! this means you, lorabeezy --- we both think he's adorable

ronnylove and me --- enjoying a late lunch at the spitting caves

the last of the sun before the looming clouds rolled into place --- right where he belongs: between my legs with his tongue out haha

a hike up to the lighthouse 'coz i hadn't been since elementary  ---  then down to the tidepools since he'd never been

crash  ---  amazing

back into the taco tuesday swing  ---  how can one resist $1 margaritas, $1 tacos, and an endless tray of chips and salsa?

big pimping  ---  the only picture in which you'll see me shaka
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and that's a wrap!

thought i'd post since june has now rolled into place...
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it's only a week into june, but it's already more chill than may. i caught a one day flu and now i have a cold... YES. other than being sick, i've been working and spending most of my free time with my amazing guy. i've never been happier with anyone. i've also never been so stress free in a loooong time. i mean a looooong time. for those of you who know me or read my xanga enough, you know my bad habit about picking my nail. well, i haven't touched my nail in almost a month, and it's starting to look normal again. hooray~

re: jordan's comment: actually this is the first relationship i've been in where life isn't heavy. it started out kind of strange at first due to some unfortunate circumstances, but once that all blew over my life has been so completely enjoyable i almost can't believe it.

it's saturday... i don't need to work 'til 5 tonight so i'm going to take the day to relax and hopefully get over this cold. enjoy some photo-whorage in the meantime
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bye marissa!! we miss 4M thursday nights --- our last salutaouting at Ryan's

salutaouting poor shot --- too many tacos and too much tequila

the gay lovers and their girls --- i still don't like this photo of me


getting sick of D&Bs --- aaaah stevie and jennel!

Welcome to HAWAII ISLAND STYLE --- footprints in the sand

amazing night --- i promise we never plan to match

lastly~ i got a haircut! gasp... no more long locks for me. welcome, summer.

i'm so not stressed out anymore. i'm amazed at how easy life's troubles can be lifted off my shoulders when i'm in the company of awesome people. that sentence irks me grammar-wise, but i'm too groggy to go back and fix it.

my work pals are such an amazing group of people. <3 i'm v.glad i decided to take this job. now it's time i get off my rump and see if i can do anything with my voice.
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something funny my aunt wrote:
FINALLY, I got myself a cell phone.  My number is 555-xxxx.
I got the least amount of minutes as I'm going to use it for emergencies. 
But if both of you are on Verizon then I won't be charge for my minutes. 
I'm still learning how to operate the phone so for now don't call me.
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day off & payday... here goes!
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<edit> i know, 4:01am but i wanted to jot this down before i went to bed. lovely day. picked up paychecks, delicious scallops and shrimp from the food court w/jon and kallen, spent the day in the sun and the water, shared an acai bowl from the health bar, then over to dave and buster's for drinks, eats, more drinks, and fun w/my mac grill homies. then some smiley time. the perfect way to spend my one day off </edit>

just when i thought everything was going alright, i'm starting to realize it's all falling apart.

i feel guilty for loads of crap right now. guilty in the sense that if i didn't exist in the past several weeks, none of this crap would have happened; i wouldn't have screwed things up. in addition to the last few weeks, something bad happened tonight, and i missed the chance to help and simultaneously shed some of that guilt.

i don't know how most people brush off stuff like this, but those kinds of people amaze me. is it really that easy to not worry? i guess this goes back to the 'world on my shoulders' thing that i've been trying to avoid lately. yet somehow the weight still pushes me down.

my life is starting to become really heavy again, and tonight i felt something i haven't felt in a long time. that old familiar "things would be better if you weren't here" feeling crept up behind me and put its cold hand on my shoulder. as tempted as i was to turn around and fall back into it, my faith kept me facing forward. the ring i wear reads, "when you have faith, everything is possible." i must try harder to keep this in my head and close my heart to the drama trailing after me.

the past three weeks have been a whirlwind blur, but at least i enjoyed riding on the crazy winds of life.

an update for those of you who haven't seen my facebook or myspace status:

♫ http://www.khon2.com/news/business/18998154.html -- watch my cousin shawna and i sing a little blurb at 1:43 in the vid!
i'm not sure if the link/video still works because i'm too lazy to check, but oh-what-fun it was to sing for a new mac grill press conference <--sung to the tune of Jingle Bells

i hate to write this here, but i need to get it out as an admission of sorts to myself. i've been drinking just about every day for the past month. just about every occasion has been with my work buddies, and they've been there for me in my embarrassing palu times too, oops. so a big huge thanks to them, though i know no one from work reads this.

i say an admission of sorts because it's a drastic change from the person i used to be. as many of you may not know, i rarely drank anything but water. now here i am getting my hands on any beer/liquor/spirit i can which isn't hard when you're a girl. i drink because i'm with my work pals who help me enjoy life and they've got their own alcohol problems, and i drink because it helps me forget about the recent personal drama i had last month. yet now i have a whole new set of personal life drama i'm dealing with... uuugh. ah well, i'm just punishing my body and my liver to deflect the pain and guilt from my heart and mind. i know it's not the best way to deal, but it's helping me for the time being.

my gym routine has slacked a bit, but i'm still going when i can. my work schedule has kinda sucked, and i don't make that much money anymore. it's a good push to trying to pursue singing more professionally. oh, speaking of which...

... the Hawaii Opera Theater studio. the studio will start up in late August or September and
meet several times a month until the opera season begins next winter.
they will have opera artists visiting throughout the year for coaching
sessions, and i'll get to sing in the chorus for at least one of the
season productions. so free opera training - woohoo! i'm still trying to figure out a way to take my singing to the next level... so if anyone has any advice or tips, prease help a sister out and email or comment.

i've been slacking and spending way more money than i should be, but i figure it's the little "wee!" free time before summer begins. friends are leaving, life is changing... transition periods are always difficult to some extent. instead of going nuts trying to deal, i'm just going to stay in my seat on this rollercoaster and not attempt to jump out like i have before. i kind of enjoy the stomach churning.

so far the day is going well
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early morning rise and shine and put my mom's gift on the table. then we gave my room a mini-makeover by putting in the new bed frame that my dad made. only thing was that he didn't realize i slept on two mattresses instead of a mattress and a box spring... so we put my mattress on without any cross support to see what would happen. my mom told me to sit on the mattress, and i fell right through like something straight out of slapstick comedy my dad's gonna cut a piece of plywood today... haha. can't wait to return home after a looong double shift and tidy up my room. chee hoo~

my new bed frame is the first thing my parents and i have done together in a long time, heh. i'm just glad we are all working together on something... it's been a while.
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so my mom's gift... i got her some "learn japanese in a few days" materials for her upcoming japan trip that i bailed out on. she opened it and got all excited; in fact she's looking through it right now and discussing it with my dad. yay. )
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in other other news, my cuz and i were mentioned in the paper again:
http://honoluluadvertiser.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080508/COLUMNISTS17/805080304/1153/ISLANDLIFEFRONT
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SHOW BREEZES: Marco Balestracci, the Jungle Boy in the
Broadway-bound "Cirque Dreams Jungle Fantasy" (playing through Sunday
at Blaisdell Concert Hall), marked his 24th birthday at Romano's
Macaroni Grill, where cousins Shawna and Cat Masuda serenaded.
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last weekend we sang 'tanti auguri' to marco and they rewarded us with tickets to the show! amazing seats next to marco's talented sister - shawna, her parents, dal, and myself. it was a great show! or maybe i'm just saying that 'coz i think circus stunts are the bomb dot com.
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okay.. this was one random blog, but i needed to start this up again. maybe if i'm not completely drained and exhausted from the long day today i'll blog later tonight. for now i gotta shower to host my butt off and sing lovely opera tunes to all the mothers in the restaurant today.
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oh, speaking of opera... don't know if anyone is still reading down this far, but i got into the Hawaii Opera Theater Mae Z. Orvis Opera Studio! more on that later

i started coming out of my mild funk yesterday afternoon, and last night proved it fo' sho. wow, i just wrote out "fo' sho"... anyway, my thursday rocked even though all i did was run errands, see deluxe for a bit, and work. it felt great to finally knock off those errands from my long ignored list of things-to-do. then although i was a bit bothered by running late to see dallas, all those &#*@!% feelings disappeared once i saw him turn and smile at me. work was great too... i worked with my faves and spent some time coloring happy birthday posters for our sous chef and gm. i loved that when "mama loves mambo" started playing in the restaurant, we all started singing it and dancing at the same time... haha.

all that above was kind of nonsense, but i needed to write it down to mark the end of the ebb and the beginning of the flow. i finally emailed people i needed to write and *gasp* went to the gym this morning. i haven't gone in a little over a week... that's really awful, but i made up for it today. though step class was cancelled due to cardio room renovations, at least i got a workout done. i drank half a 5 hour energy shot and am feeling the buzz of it now... bzzzzzzzz. know what's interesting? well, to me at least... in the past few weeks when i was in my "meh" mindset, the 5 hour energy drinks did nothing for me except keep my body moving; my mental malaise stayed put, almost like the 5 hour energy skipped over certain parts of my brain.

in other news, i was mentioned in the paper today, haha... http://www.honoluluadvertiser.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2008804240337
the blurb reads:
Over at Romano's Macaroni Grill, g.m. Darren Yasui has two Masudas on
his payroll — Shawna, the musical theater trouper ("Aida," "Miss
Saigon," "Kismet," "Cats," "Beauty and the Beast") and her cousin
Catherine (a University of Southern California graduate and a
performer, too). Diner faves, they often do duets between table
service. ...
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my favorite parts of that are my misspelled name and the duet fabrication - shawna just started working last weekend, and we haven't sang together in the one week, hehe. but we should learn some duets to keep the customers happy. speaking of happy customers... last night an older guy stepped out of his booth and belted out "O Sole Mio" in a powerful tenor voice. floored me! what a treat, hearing a guest sing. i wish more stuff like that happened at mac grill, but there's lots of other stuff to keep us entertained and occupied
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one of the birthday posters we colored... from malia's camera~

apparently xanga listed that my latest entry was one that i posted back in 2005. for those of you who didn't catch the date on it, that little blurb was from several years ago and yes, referred to adey.

i'm glad to announce that i no longer feel like i'm wasting my time. in fact i'm enjoying life so much that i'm delaying moving forward and leaving the current awesome behind. yes, i used "awesome" as a noun - the result of too much How I Met Your Mother, my new indulgence ala siao.

since i returned from my awesome (there we go again) trip to los angeles, i've been working measly hours and enjoying life. ooh, big update - i finally got medical insurance! i'm going to try and use up all the benefits asap; i've already started by getting contacts - woohoo! i'm still not used to them... my eyesight doesn't rock as hard as when i wear my uber-cool frames. maybe it's like everything else in life - just gotta be patient and give it time.

i want to write so much more... about how hard life rocks when i hang out with dallas, about my struggle to figure out my next step in life, about the recent memories that made me shed some tears (that one will probably be privatized), about the new plans i'm already concocting, but i need some rest. *yawn*

good night, folks. )